Scarlet ..... - if only, if only

tic tic tic
I watch the hands on the clock go by
I sit here crying
thinking
why am I like this
why am I so alone here
I sit up
to find the closest thing to comfort
the bottle at the edge of my bed
I know I would be better off dead
then gettting into that
but hey how much can it hurt is all I think
I do not want to go down that path like the rest
I tried t once
and yes I felt numb at first
I felt so good
but then I started thinking
and it all came crashing down
I do not want to do that again
I look around
for something else
anything else
I see the phone
I’ll call someone that is what I will do
I tell myself as I pick up the phone
I start to dail
and then realize I have no one to call
I go on my computer
and just my luck no one is one
I walk outside
hhmm darkness
that is a beautiful comfort
too bad that is robbed of me
due to safety
but then I think
how bad could it be
and so I start to walk
into the darkness I run
I wanna be free
I wanna be me
I don’t wanna be alone
I sit under a tree
staring up at the stars and moon
I cry to the moon
if only if only
I had but of friend
one person to walk with
one person to keep me from doing want I think I might
for that one person could have saved a life
this very night

Scarlet .....

http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/if-only-if-only/