Why Kids of Divorce Often Grow Up Broken 💔

Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, parenting expert, and author.

Why do we assume kids will be okay after divorce? As separation becomes more common, the long-term impact on a child’s development is often overlooked. So what actually happens, and can divorce ever be done without damage?

Expect to learn what most adults misunderstand about how deeply divorce affects kids, why constant parental conflict causes damage to children so deeply and what it does to a child’s stress system and brain development, why 50-50 custody might be a terrible idea for children, what the long-term psychological consequences are from a neglectful parent and much more…

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0:00 Why is Erica’s Work So Controversial?
1:22 The Hidden Impacts of Divorce on Children
4:19 How Stress Reshapes a Child’s Brain
11:05 Is a Friendly Divorce Still Damaging?
14:22 Is 50/50 Custody Always the Right Choice?
22:13 Should Fathers Take a Step Back After Divorce?
26:18 Is There Ever a Right Time to Divorce?
30:52 How Divorce Shapes a Child’s Future
33:04 Boys vs Girls: Who Does Divorce Hit Harder?
34:57 Is Separation During Pregnancy Dangerous?
42:02 Why Children Blame Themselves for Divorce
50:47 Divorce Feels Like Grief For Children
52:25 When Should You Tell the Kids?
54:26 The Worst Ways to Explain Divorce to Children
59:27 Why Promises Can Backfire
01:01:19 What Makes a Divorce “Good” or “Bad”?
01:05:22 Why Stability Matters More Than You Think
01:08:31 How Much Time Should Each Parent Get?
01:14:15 Why Babies' Needs Must Come First
01:19:06 How Parents Can Stay Emotionally Steady
01:21:36 What Secure Attachment Really Looks Like
01:27:58 How the Feminist Movement Left Children Behind
01:35:09 Is Daycare the Worst Place For Children?
01:38:21 We Can’t Ignore Early Attachment
01:40:13 Are Attachment Styles Inherited?
01:41:17 Are Babies Born Aggressive?
01:49:54 How Children Cope With Absence
01:53:25 The Hard Truth About Sacrifice in Parenting
01:59:34 The Toughest Realisations For Modern Mothers
02:09:16 Why Trust is the Foundation of Parenting
02:13:17 The Hidden Challenges of Female Breadwinners
02:23:26 Why Emotional Presence Matters Just as Much as Physical
02:29:33 Where to Find Erica

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