Sir Owen Seaman's Witty Take on Crime and Justice 🕵️‍♂️

Were I a burglar in the dock <br />With every chance of doing time, <br />With Justice sitting like a rock <br />To hear a record black with crime; <br />If my conviction seemed a cert, <br />Yet, by a show of late repentance, <br />I thought I might, with luck, avert <br />A simply crushing sentence;-- <br /> <br />I should adopt, by use of art, <br />A pensive air of new-born grace, <br />In hope to melt the Bench's heart <br />And mollify its awful face; <br />I should not go and run amok, <br />Nor in a fit of senseless fury <br />Punch the judicial nose or chuck <br />An inkpot at the jury. <br /> <br />So with the Hun: you might assume <br />He would exert his homely wits <br />To mitigate the heavy doom <br />That else would break him all to bits; <br />Yet he behaves as one possessed, <br />Rampaging like a bull of Bashan, <br />Which, as I think, is not the best <br />Means of conciliation. <br /> <br />For when the wild beast, held and bound, <br />Ceases to plunge and rave and snort, <br />The Bench, I hope, will pass some sound <br />Remarks on this contempt of court; <br />The plea for mercy, urged too late, <br />Should prove a negligible cipher, <br />And when the sentence seals his fate <br />He'll get at least a lifer.<br /><br />Sir Owen Seaman<br /><br />http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/tactless-tactics-2/