Lesson 3 - Understanding Vulnerability

But aren’t we always performing throughout our lives? Isn’t it normal to want people to like us? <br /> <br />Yes, but the problem arises when we try to control the other person’s impression. Obviously we all <br />want to present ourselves well and communicate well. <br />But as soon as you try to control what another person thinks, you are broadcasting a feeling of <br />inferiority. <br /> <br />Vulnerability can be: <br /> <br /> Behavioral (approaching, going for the kiss) <br /> Verbal (sharing thoughts or feelings) <br /> Emotional (expressing pleasure or pain) <br /> <br />Vulnerability requires one to communicate with authenticity — that means communicating your <br />thoughts, feelings and desires with no conditions, with no expectations. <br /> <br />Vulnerability closes the inferiority gap. <br /> <br /> It implies equal status with the woman. <br /> It resolves your internal shame. <br /> It helps you permanently overcome anxiet. <br /> It builds intimacy and connection. <br /> It builds sexual tension because it is bold and unpredictable. <br /> <br />The reason most people don’t practice vulnerability is because it’s hard. It forces you to confront <br />fears, insecurities, shame, overcome anxiety, and risk rejection. <br /> <br />But ultimately, practicing vulnerability in your everyday life is the ticket to improving all of your <br />relationships. <br /> <br />Research shows that vulnerability builds self esteem and builds trust with others. These are the two <br />ingredients of successful sexual relationships. <br />Exercise <br /> <br />Name three ways in which you can practice vulnerability in your life. Go out and do one of them. <br />Write about what happens. <br />1 Approach and tell a girl that I would like to know something more about her. <br />(ask her to tell something special or unique about her) <br />2 Call out bullshit on some of my coworkers. <br />3.Doing something which I am not good at, even though there is the fear of looking silly at the back <br />of my mind. <br />