Why do so many authors make this weird? 🥲 (Historical Romance is the worst offender.)

Why do authors have to make this weird? 🥲 (Historical Romance is the worst offender I have found.) My perspective on this is a little atypical. In my personal life, I made the decision to wait until marriage and I don't regret that at all. At the same time, the weirdest, most misogynistic things people have said to me about that decision were all from people who technically supported it. My decision had nothing to do with giving a "gift" to my husband (like eww please stop saying this). My husband didn't actually care and despite what other misinformed older women told me, it did not magically ensure I'd have the perfect marriage. I made that decision because I gave my allegiance to a deity who said to. A deity whose (extremely high) opinion of me isn't going to change, but whose best practices I still want to follow. There was NO other reason. Medieval Catholic ideas about s✨x being dirty and shameful still permeate everything, even our secular culture (look at the slvt shaming aimed at Taylor Swift). But like everything, s✨x has its appropriate place. So while I only write ✨spice✨ between characters who are married, I do write it. It's important to me to write the happy fun times as mutually enjoyable, free of shame, and in the context of commitment. I'm really tired of the current narratives around it on both sides. . . ✨Get 10% off your first order: https://hello.elisabethwheatley.com/welcome/